knots / moonlight ∙ 2024 [music]
gray mattered tied in knots knots knots
we wander so delicately on wobbly knees
scraping skin off, collecting under fingernails
picking and itching
stars like freckles like warts like tumors
a face that itches and hurts, touch it, scrape it off
the moon hangs over a dead sea
waves lapping against ankles, freezing toes
tall trees used to live here
and we are haunted by their ghosts
and in squalor and ruin and waste
we sing in discordant chorus,
loveless loveless loveless
knots knots knots
to be
to not
to laugh
to rot
we frolic through high grass, the ticks are fat with our blood
bullseye, bed ridden
a knife on a table that beckons fingers grip its handle
all it takes is a devoted plunge into icy waters
perhaps some day it'll all get blown out in the sunlight
details lost, your chains weaken
but for now they clink clink clink
knot knot knot
in moonlight, what are you expected to see?
darken, damp souls, feet dragging against concrete
broken radios give nothing but static
and it grates against eardrums and shreds your sanity
collecting each strip of loss in a jar
preserving your mind in vinegar and salt
for consumption, for the moon
harvest me, use me
for i have nothing else to give but nutrients and fertilizer
and even then, even then, what little i can offer, thin of fat and muscle
there is nothing here.
peace is beget from war, infant cells spill alongside marrow
feed the earth, sate it with blood,
my throat is raw and achey, head pounding with possibilities long forgotten
mourn now or forever hold your tongue
and mourn we shall, for lost opportunities and time
...you are... horrible.
pull your hands up ivory roads, pressing your weight against them
never leave, never give up
obfuscation between fog and frequencies
it means everything
it means nothing
please, please, please, for the love of god, please
but you are knotted
and the moon has rendered you blind
WHAT FUCKING
USELESS WORD SALAD
UNAPPETIZING
UNPLEASANT
STEP UP TO ME
AND PROVE YOUR RIGHT TO EXIST
i give you naught.